Episode Intro
Fear and the Challenge of Change
Asil
When we walk through life, some of the greatest challenges are the ones that are imagined.
We project fear into the experiences that we have, into the life that we live, and into the choices that we have to make in life. Fear is what keeps us from our greatest achievements, our greatest love, our greatest peace, our greatest transformations. Yet at the same time, fear is not to be perceived as something negative, even though it is an obstacle of life.
Change occurs when we are able to overcome the fears that we hold within ourselves, the fears that we have believed to be true, the fears that we have been carrying for a long time within us, the fears of our ancestors, the fears of our past generations, the fears of our childhood, and the fears of society.
The fears of separation, the fears of abandonment, the fears of rejection.
The fears of losing ourselves, losing our life, losing our loved ones.
Fears keep us from truly finding peace,
truly overcoming the obstacles, the changes that are before us. So when the fears are the obstacle and change is the reward,
how do we make that step?
Listening to the Voice of Fear
Asil
Well, first, before we even make any decision, the mind will rationalize every decision against the change. And these rationalizations will include, to some degree, very valid fears. Fears based on personal experience and fears based on the experiences of others, fears of society, fears of life, fears of survival.
Yet when we allow ourselves for a moment to feel that fear, to observe that fear, to investigate and to explore that fear, without judging it, without rationalizing on behalf of it, or without defending the fear that exists within us: pure observation of the fear itself.
What does it tell you? What is the voice of the fear that is within?
What does it want you to know? What does it want you to do and not to do?
How does fear lead your life?
And how deep does fear have its roots, its branches into our consciousness, into our decision-making, into our relationships, into our perception of self and the perception of others, into the perception that we have of this human life and this human experience at large?
And if fear is not to be considered the enemy while it is impacting our lives so fundamentally and, at times, gravely negatively, how do we perceive fear? And how do we transform fear?
Fear as an Ally and Teacher
Asil
What if we can perceive fear as an ally? What if it's a teacher that is just waiting to deliver its teaching? What if the realization of the fear itself is just waiting around the corner, waiting for us to truly listen to what it has to say? Fear is emergent as an emotion, as a feeling, as a sensation for many of us.
Yet more than that, it brings up thoughts, images, perspectives, and it brings up impulses for decisions.
If our lives are driven by the fears that have been established as a result of the experiences of the past, as a result of the experience of our ancestors, as a result of the experiences of society, who are we in the moment if not merely a reflection, a shadow of the unprocessed past? Operating every thought, every decision we make in the present, defining the future of what can be and what cannot be,
as a result of its influence.
And the goal to explore fear within is not to become fearless.
It is to become aware of how fear has driven our lives and our decisions, how fear has limited how we choose to live, and how we allowed ourselves to expand beyond the perceived limitations.
So your change and transformation is directly proportional to your ability to observe, witness, listen, and transmute your fears. The fears of the future are what define your present moment and the choices in the present. The fears of the future are merely a projection from the past that has been unprocessed, yet is long gone.
And what may apply to the moment of the past when something difficult has happened and fear emerged, potentially even saved your life,
it no longer can dictate the present and therefore the projection of the future.
The Golden Cage of Safety
Asil
And yet here we are, where fear does dictate our present and our future. A human leading a life influenced significantly by fear will find its limits very quickly.
It will be a golden cage of a perceived safety.
A golden cage
eventually recognized as a limited life.
The constraints of this cage will become visible. And a soul desiring to transform will hit against these constraints of an illusionary safety.
Fear, our ally, our teacher, that has not yet spoken clearly to us. How do we hear? How do we listen to the learnings that fear has?
And how do we eventually overcome fear? Recognizing the important lesson it had to give, it had to provide, so that we could move and transform.
Survival Fear and Unprocessed Trauma
Asil
Naturally, the human form requires a sense of awareness and fear to keep us safe in this physical reality.
If we recognize a cliff, if we recognize a dangerous situation, if we recognize a dangerous animal in nature, our internal senses of fear, our internal sense of survival will activate to keep us alive. And that is a biological, natural system, algorithm to keep us safe. And we've had this mechanism for as long as we exist. And in that sense, fear will be recognized, the fear of survival throughout nature; every living being will have a similar mechanism to survive.
And that programming will potentially never change.
Yet what happens with fear in the way that we have developed, in the way that we have evolved as humans within a society, within relational constructs, within a mind that is active and observant, is that the traumas of the past and the unprocessed elements of our past have influenced our survival fears to become ingrained and enmeshed with the unprocessed traumas.
So a lot of the fears that we have of survival are truly
constructed by trauma.
And suddenly, survival is connected to abandonment. Survival is connected to rejection. Survival is connected to not being good enough. Survival is connected to not being lovable.
Suddenly, survival is connected to someone not talking to you in the right way or looking to you in the right way. Suddenly, survival is connected to what you wear and what you don't wear. Suddenly, survival is connected to
how much power you have, how much money you have.
And while an argument can be made about these elements truly being connected to a fear of survival or impacting one's survival, reality is
that it is a wide spectrum, a range of experiences that lie between the impulse
of rejection, for example, to actually a situation of survival. Yet fear bridges these two moments and creates a bond and limits the experiences that we can have. And the more of these fearful impulses drive our immediate choices in life, the more limited we live, more and more constrained.
A Life Driven by Fear
Asil
And what type of decisions does a human make that lives from a place of fear?
Well, one could argue they are limited decisions, decisions of a lesser quality or value for life. Maybe less loving decisions, less compassionate decisions, maybe more selfish decisions: me versus them, as survival is at stake.
What becomes important is significantly more different than what is truly important.
Fear takes away the air of the flame of life, the flame of love, of connection.
Our internal resources no longer exude trust in life and in existence as fear drives the choices we make.
Giving Fear Space to Speak
Asil
Therefore,
fear in itself is not the enemy. Yet it is our inability to give fear a chance to explain itself, to provide its wisdom, to direct us in the way we need to be directed, creating enough space for that fear,
for us to understand: at which point in my life did fear take over who I am and what I believe to be true? At which point in my life did I let fear decide what reality is like? What are the core beliefs of life that I have formed as a result of fear?
And here is the opportunity: exploring the fear within, to understanding, to learning from that fear in silence with yourself.
Witnessing how fear has defined our decisions on a daily basis and allowing that fear to loosen its grip. Even if it does not entirely disappear,
it expands the possibilities of what we can choose and how we can live.
The Possibility of Transformation
Asil
This is the possibility that lies before you.
In the exploration of fear,
a transformation and change of life and the life experience you have becomes available.